Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Emotions Everywhere

We have had a lot going on in the Weldon house these past few months.  There have been days I have been on cloud nine and there are the days I wish I could run away from it all and never come back.  Granted I never would just pick up and leave, but I would be lying if I told you I never felt that way.  I guess I am going through a bit of a mid-life, not like the ones you hear of on TV or in a bar, but one where you look back at your life and wonder exactly what kind of purpose you have here on this Earth.  Mine? Well, I'm still trying to figure it out.  I really am dealing with the fact I guess I'm gonna get old one day. I will go out kicking and screaming just fighting age. I think about all that I deal with on a daily basis and how am I going to be able to keep up with my preschool twins and of course three older children, two of which are adults.  Beckett is obviously a handful. His twin Pyper, well she is a little spit-fire all her own.  Don't get me wrong, I love my children but they sure are hard work.  I find myself trying to keep in shape, trying to eat right, making sure I'm going to stay healthy for my kids that I end up getting sick and tired literally. Then on top of all that feeling guilty about it.  I know its crazy thinking but I think every mom goes through that at some point.  I am still trying to grasp my purpose..even though one is clearly being a mom and wife.  Sometimes you just want to do more in life...but is there more than that?  I'm not really sure, but I truely think there is. See, I even feel guilty for saying that I guess because I have always been about my kids and family in general.