Exactly 11 months ago today, I wrote in my blog. A lot has happened in those 11 months. Things I never imagined, yet they were not unexpected. The trials, wear and tear on a relationship that was falling apart behind the scenes, and no one but those closest to me would have a clue. The events that led up to breaking the end of my nineteen-year marriage to the father of my twins, Beckett and Pyper, had finally come to a head. The birth of our son with special needs was the catalyst that broke the bond we had, where it was no fault of either, we just went in two different directions, and it wasn't together, but apart.
People cope with grief differently, and when you have continuous stress and no relief, the weight becomes unbearable. The challenges have not all been due to the break up of a marriage, but also professionally. The things I have experienced in the last year, if I didn't have written proof of what others in your own tribe could do to you, no one would believe it. The challenges of leading a nonprofit and having the people you are trying to help turn on you. You then have to reset, step back and understand that even though they are purposely hurting you, they are only doing it because they are hurting themselves.
"Pray for your enemies," my mother always says. I couldn't. I didn't for a very long time. God brought me, not just to my knees, but my face. I quit asking myself why people do the things they do and have to re-learn to check myself and continue regardless. I still am. I am at a crawl. I was forced to slow down. That is not something I am used to.
